The interesting thing about social media is that the terms of the community are different. People come together over a common interest or cause and that commonality can build familiarity. There is also a level of reciprocity and access that is assumed and accepted in social networks despite the degrees of separation.

So to answer the question, is it possible? Yes. How do you make those meaningful connections? From my experience, it can happen in planned and unplanned ways. Regardless of the social network, I believe in the value of growing your following organically.  I think it helps you filter through the noise  and to best identify people who have the most to contribute to your network and goals and vice versa. And the obvious people may not be the ones of most value to you.

I recently posted a blog on Women on Business titled Women and Leaders: What Dialogue Are We Creating? and went to Twitter to acknowledge someone who commented on it. In the course of that interaction, she offered to write a blog for my site. After doing further research on who she was and what she was about, I agreed. We have subsequently connected over the phone and through the course of that initial discussion, we are building our network in a meaningful way. I not only respect what she has accomplished in her professional life, I would go so far as to say we’re becoming friends. Here is what she did well:  she made the request to write on my blog—and to connect via the phone.  It shows great initiative for someone who is building a business, and a network with similar professionals.

• People will connect with you and follow you if are contributing in a meaningful way
• Be choosy about who you connect with and with whom you connect
• Take initiative to make live, quality connections—with a stated purpose. Start by connecting through the medium and then make the request to talk “live”. The worst thing that can happen is they say no or ignore you. (My caveat: be smart and safe)
• Reciprocate whenever possible
• Don’t make it all about you. People are turned off by spamming, requests that are self serving and the hard sell. Think of it as a cocktail party, if you’re the loud guy telling stories about yourself, laughing at your own jokes and showing no interest in those around you, people will find excuses to mingle.
• Common rules of etiquette apply: Don’t be a pest or hyper-critical, etc.
• Treat everyone with respect. In social networks you can stop “being friends” in a private manner. The difference is that the medium is publicly generated so if you are rude to someone, you have an audience.
• Engage authentically with the people around you

The interesting thing about social media is that it shrinks the universe based on commonality. It gives you access to a global network of people that you may not have otherwise found or met. It takes time and equally important, effort; but when you follow basic rules of etiquette, you can build quality relationships.

September 24, 2009 by Valerie Dennis